Open letters to my children: {Christian}

Dear Christian-

A few weeks ago we were at Nana's house and we found Sister Maria Fidelis' baby book. Aunt Lulu, Aunt Jessica, and I read some of Nana's thoughts as she was holding Sister Maria as a newborn. My first thought was how happy I was to hear her words of wisdom--how her faith in Christ has not wavered much since Sister was born 40 years ago. She wrote about the dreams she had for her daughter and how she hoped that her children would always love each other. Nana wrote similar words in my baby book, but I got the condensed version and a little bit more humor (like, "your feet are big") than Sister did.

I wanted to take a few minutes to write you a little letter primarily because the dynamics of our family are about to shift once again. I don't want to forget your awesomeness in that little body of yours. You, my little brown eyed boy, have been my baby the longest of any others and you're about to move on up to middle child status.

For almost 3 years you've been my youngest, my baby, my little boy that loves hugs and kisses on every tiny booboo. You are affectionate and not one to ever hold in a hug. If Daddy beats me to bed he'll say, "I've already checked on everyone." He knows I have to peek in again to give some last kisses while you're sleeping. There is nothing better and sometimes I just stare at your eyelashes and listen to your little breaths. Even if you were a total tyrant that day (which these days, Bud, are becoming numerous) I'll whisper to you, "You're such a good good boy." And, I mean every word.

Yes, for the most part you are a good boy, but oh, there are days! You love to talk and talk and talk and talk. How is it that you talk more than your sisters? Sometimes we'll be driving and you talk for 10 minutes straight and I'll zone out, but when you stop I'll say, "mmmm-hmmm." You hate that response and demand a yes or no. So, I'll say, "Yes, good idea." I'll have no idea what I agreed to until we get home and you start wailing that I promised you a piece of gum. Darn it.

The other day I asked/begged/pleaded for some privacy in the bathroom. I mean, Bubs, I'm 3 weeks away from having your sibling and sometimes I just need a little bit of space. You obliged and 2 minutes later you resurrected from downstairs with an old purse of Lucy's and said, "Here, Mommy, you can have dis fowever!". I love you, Christian. I love you with all of my heart.

Things I want to remember about where you are in your old life ;)
You love to play basketball.
You love basketball shorts!
I think you're up in the 20's now for dribbling.
You just moved into a big boy bed, but not really. It's just a toddler bed, so we can make room for the baby. 

Why is she in here?

Your favorite phrases right now are: "Fine!" "I KNOW DAT!!" "I NOT play with you anymore, Mommy."
You can do headstands which impresses me every time because you have the will of a giant in that pint size 2 year old body.
You love bread with dinner. I've definitely given you a longer pass on veggies than I did with the girls. That's about to change.
You still sleep with your green blanket from the Barnes family.
You have 6 or 7 teddy bears, but you aren't attached to one over the other.
As I type you are asleep for the first time with out a diaper/pull-up for nap time. (Emilia is too. OMG, this is a terrible idea.)
You are such a little goober at times.

You are obsessed with your belt. If you're not wearing basketball shorts, then you have to wear shorts with a belt. You will do and undo the belt at least 10 times. You keep saying it's not tight enough, but clearly it is! You look like your pushing organs into another area of your body. Really.

I always get weepy for the current baby as I know you are thrust into the older kid category, but then I'm reminded how great your sisters did when you came along. Maybe Lucy will stop picking you up and propping you on her hip like you're 6 months old? 

Listen to me when I say, I honestly don't care what you become in life, as long as you are glorifying God. If you want to be a teacher, do it in ways that you can lead the children to Christ. If you want to be a Dad, do it in ways that will lead your children to Christ. A mailman, golfer, realtor, banker, or stellar boot salesman- do it for His glory. I pray that you and your siblings always know in your heart the great love that your Dad and I have for you. We will make mistakes, but know that we are always searching to do better and live better for you. When I look at the three of you, I know my purpose in life. Thank you for blessing me every day.

I love you, my baby boy.
Mommy